Journalists, to your textbooks.

Some time ago, a friend of mine suggested to me, jokingly of course, that I should drop school and go into journalism. While I whole-heartedly agree with the dropping school part, there is no chance that I'll go into journalism. The idea could maybe occur to me in an alternative reality where I actually have talent, but it also requires purpose. First, journalism requires you to write boring articles describing reality, or boring articles deforming reality, depending on the Board of Directors and the political side of the thing. Secondly, journalism doesn't allow you to use your style, doesn't let you describe what you want, and really is just full of "doesn't". And, to make it worse, journalists have a tendency to write pieces of shit when it comes to science.

I'd argue that it's because they do not know anything about science. Or just, anything at all. Honestly, I doubt one of them knows how to do a kinematics calculation, or a chemical equation balancing. "Science" for humanities grads, is a word that is synonym with "Godlike". They require no justification for it, because they wouldn't understand the justification of an experiment. Suffice to say, "scientists affirmed". This is probably why we get articles that are so boiled down, that all you retain from it is "scientists affirmed that there is a direct correlation between the size of your hand and that of your penis". No shit. Usually, people are somewhat proportional. But then again. Why the heck would they find a study on the size of people's penises!?

Because some universities are also full of shit. The Ig Nobel Prize is a good example of it. Some of those research subjects are so dumb, it sounds impossible that someone thought about it. Do we have too many "researchers"? Or is it because those researches have to lick humanities grads' asses to get a research grant, and thus have to write ludicrous papers with a complex title? "How String Theory relates to penis size". I mean... I imagine any CEO would want to know more. Maybe they hope String Theory will help them find a cure to their lack of manhood. Because, let me explain carefully, String Theory tells you how to fix your dick with strings so that it grows bigger.


"Therein lies Nintendogs inexorable pull: It’s the first game powered by empathy. These things are much more convincing than the Tomogatchis, those rudimentary keychain creatures from the first virtual pet craze a decade ago" - LAWeekly
TOmOgAtchis own you. Learn to write, fucktard. It's useless plugging in "existentialism" and Alan Turing if you can't copy/paste a word. You filthy journalist.